Note:there are actually 5 laws of life. The fifth is: When you try to prove any of these wrong/right, you may succeed. If you do, despair, for it is actually a trick, imposed by my infinitely powerful mortal enemy: Billy-Bob-Joe the VII (seventh).
THE FIRST LAW OF LIFE:
(All things have an invisible teleporter inside of them, which, on command, can teleport the thing in which it is implanted to another dimension.) When you are looking for something such as a book, recipe, CD, etc...the teleporter kicks into action and teleports the thing you are looking for to another dimension. When you are looking for it, the teleporter teleports things that you will soon* be looking for into your path.
THE SECOND LAW OF LIFE:
When you want something to happen, the opposite of what you want will come to pass. You are better off wanting the opposite (secretly of course) to happen so what you secretly want to happen will happen. Right? Wrong. It will work some of the time, not always.
THE THIRD LAW OF LIFE:
(This works for me) When you are involved in youth sports your team will always lose
THE FOURTH LAW OF LIFE:
We are nerds. We have always been nerds. We will always be nerds. There is no hope. (Worthington family motto, 2007)
*The teleporter knows what you will be looking for because it is linked via IECL (invisible extremely complicated laser) to a time machine.
8 comments:
Iagree with your laws. Often screwdrivers change from flat to phillips. Grandma tells me that it is a communist conspiracy.
Who the heck are the Worthingtons? And why are they nerds.
You are so funny Ethan. I love these laws. Well, I don't love the laws because they are true and they drive me nuts. But I love your sense of humor in explaining them.
The army should look into that IECL as a new weapon.
Hi Ethan! I am actually max, but I am using my Mom's account. These laws are so true! (that motto is proven to me everyday!) I really like this blog Ethan! I read all the posts, but am only commenting on this one (so relish the experience while it lasts!!!). Make a new post soon!
~Max
I want an IECL. Do they come in green, by any chance?
Nice, man. All those laws are WAY too true. I'm always losing stuff. I want an IECL, although, I do hope they come in etither Black, Purple, or red.
You are a GENIUS! Oh, what color do those IECLs Come In? P.S. For your Mom, I'm Heffalump's Son.
Do IECLs come in Gold?
I have always wondered where my keys hid! Well, now I know. Thanks so much for enlightening me. I should have known after watching that two-hour press conference on YouTube about what the astronauts found on the dark side of the moon...it's called Disclosure Project if you're interested...it's also on Google Video and other places. It's long, but it explains a lot about why we still drive gas-powered vehicles.
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